Ocean City Today
https://oceancitytoday.villagesoup.com/p/1715613

A snow day doing nothing

The Public Eye
By Stewart Dobson | Jan 04, 2018

 

 

printed 01/05/2018

 

Oh, the weather outside is stinking

It’s too early to start drinking,

What I’ll do I just don’t know,

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

 

I love snow days. I really do, because I always manage to get into the office despite hazardous conditions and do … hours and hours of nothing.

I could just as easily do nothing at home, of course, except that I can do it at the office without hearing: “Did you know that sloth is one of the seven deadly sins?”

“Would that be the three-toed sloth, the two-toed sloth, pygmy sloth or …”

“Don’t you have somewhere to go?”

Hence the office.

On days like our blizzardy Thursday, for instance, I spent at least an hour looking up and learning about various kinds of sloths.

I couldn’t tell you why, except I started out on one thing, which led to another and then the next thing I know I’m staring at slothville.com.

Still, you never know when information like this might come in handy at home (see above) at a cocktail party or an evening out with friends who fail to understand that you’d just as soon keep them as friends rather than point out that, politically speaking, they have tiny little brains.

“So, what do you think about the state of the nation, international affairs, our domestic circumstances, immigration, health care, and, of course, politics.”

“I’ve been reading about that,” you reply. “Yep, the Wall Street Journal, Atlantic Monthly, Washington Post, Politico, National Review. But here’s something you didn’t know — the three-toed sloth has nine neck bones.”

“What?”

“Yes, just like the manatee. Incidentally, sloths are solitary animals that only get together to mate, which I’m sure would have lots of appeal to any number of couples and would contribute to an overall decline of the divorce rate.”

“There’s no point in even talking to you about serious subjects is there?”

“Not if you want to keep the Christmas cards coming there isn’t.”

It is better, in my mind, to have the other person think you have a tiny brain, or are politically slothful, than to tell him or her what you really think. In that respect, snow days are good for going to work and filling up on otherwise useless information instead of staying home and being “in the way.”

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