Ocean City Today

And now, the fake news

By Stewart Dobson | Sep 07, 2017



printed 09/08/2017


As I’ve always been one to jump on whatever bandwagon that happens to roll by to maintain appearances, I’d like to report that I’m signing on to the fake news phenomenon.

Consequently, this is a fake column, full of fake observations and fake conclusions as assembled by a fake me, after having decided if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

The reason is simple. Just when we began to think this whole “fake news” political business was beginning to fade just a little, up comes a report from a nationally known wingnut commentator (or two) that all this hurricane coverage is being concocted to cover up a nefarious government plot.

Yep, as we all probably guessed anyway, deep within the darkest layers of the federal government, as the story goes, are people who actually create and control hurricanes to support their climate change arguments.

Ever notice how major hurricanes always seem to target heavily populated areas? There’s a reason for that, they say, and it’s to garner TV and newspaper headlines because — get this — no one would listen to climate change hoo-ha if these super-storms made landfall in, say, the Gobi Desert.

“Hurricane Zeke, packing category five winds, is bearing down on the Gobi Desert. A camel was seen evacuating.”

That doesn’t sound good no matter how you put it, and it sure isn’t going to make the evening news. Well, not with photos, anyway.

So, we are supposed to believe that a government that has yet to figure out how to run a VA hospital has a brigade of squirrels on treadmills or possibly X-men down in the basement spinning out tropical cyclones and pointing them at us.

All I can say is if we really do have that ability, I’d recommend sending a Cat 5 up someone’s wazoo in North Korea. He’d sure be whistling a different tune then, I bet, and not necessarily in the traditional fashion.

But, that’s just me, or rather the fake me. The real me would never suggest anything like that.

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