Ocean City Today

‘V’ is not for ‘Victory’

By Stewart Dobson | Jul 27, 2017



printed 07/28/2017


Even though a good portion of the country is engaged in a debate over whether transgender people should serve in the military, I have moved on to other issues.

So, here’s an interesting and under-reported fact: the defense department spends more on Viagra and other small arms enhancing substances than it does on those particular medical applications at the center of this argument.

It’s true. According to a study commissioned by the Defense Department, medical treatments for the situation that I’m not going to discuss would cost the military between $2.4 million and $8.4 million a year.

Meanwhile, according to the Military Times, the Defense Department spends $84 million a year to return certain male elements to active duty.

I know it’s been a long time since I did my duty, but now I’m wondering if “Stand at attention when I talk to you, mister!” still means the same old thing. Or new thing, whatever.

When they flash the “V” sign these days, apparently, that doesn’t mean “Victory.”

Still, I’m trying to understand why the government believes this practice is vital to our national defense. It’s not as if the enemy is charging and the grizzled old sergeant suddenly stands up and says, “Oh yeah? I got your counterattack right here!”

Besides, when the fan is waiting for something to hit it, we want immediate action.

“OK, men, when I blow this whistle, we charge!”

“Umm, excuse me, lieutenant, but can we wait until the time is right?”

All I can say is it’s a good thing that this apparent military necessity doesn’t go back for centuries.

Gladiators to Caesar: “We who are about to die salute you!”

Boat commander to Gen. Washington: “Which way across the Delaware?”

Yes, I know, I’m flirting with disaster here, which is why I have avoided certain expressions that would otherwise be just fine.

Suffice to say all I care about regarding the matter of orientation, is that all military personnel are oriented toward the enemy.

Comments (0)
If you wish to comment, please login.